Quitters don’t win…

I thought I’d post a little update for all of you on what I’m up to and what I’m planning to do. But firstly I’d like to say thank you for all of your advice and comments I appreciate all of them!

Right now I’m working on my rapping and beginning to take it more seriously – I’m hoping over the summer to record some tracks. I have some beats to use now and I’ve been writing some lyrics, so we’ll see where that goes.

I’ve posted the beginning of my novel for you, obviously there is a lot of editing to do on it. But it is heading in the right direction.

I have a dream to be a published writer and a recognised rapper, but to get there I can’t quit hence the title of this post.

– Esjae x

Poem: Always Yours

I’m stuck on you
I’m falling in love
With everything you do
I want it to be you and me
Forever and always
It’s the way it should be
We’re together forever
I never want to let you go
This I want you to know
Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead
Just walk beside me, and be all that I need
Without you my heart was left without a beat
With you in my arms my life is complete
I want to be the smile you but on you face
The girl you hold in your embrace
Just don’t ever leave or walk away
This may sound cliché
But I love you forever and always

Novel: The Beginning

The sun was just setting, casting its bright orange glow across the buildings of the once busy town. As 6 o’clock was approaching, many figures could be seen filling the streets to celebrate the end of the week, varying in ages, and all scattering like ants down various alleyways heading towards their individual destinations. As the darkness of the night loomed, a figure could be seen making his way down a narrow cul-de-sac: his face was obscured by a hooded jacket pulled tightly over his head; a distinctive white wire was hanging from the pocket of his tight black skinny jeans; his slow walk was made even more obvious by the crystal white trainers gripping to his feet. This solitary figure was oblivious to everything around him, including the black cat crossing his path just several paces ahead, continuing in his journey like many other young people.

As the darkly dressed figure crossed the deserted road from between two blood red parked cars he noticed a looming shadow over his shoulder. Without trying to draw attention to himself he quickened his pace and hunched his shoulder slightly more. He tried to gain on the group of school friends just a couple of paces ahead just as he went to step into sink with them they disappeared into the local recreation ground. The unknown figure seemed to decide that he would carry on his journey following his original path quicken his pace even more to try and outrun the shadow closing in on him. As the darkly dressed figure rounded the corner of the road, a shiny object flashed across in his view held by a gloved hand that had appeared from the body that owned the shadow.

The dark, deserted cul-de-sac was flooded with flashing lights, screaming sirens mixed with the cries and screams of the young people crowded alongside the wailing ambulance. More people were being attracted to the c

ommotion of the brightly lit scene trying to get a better view to find out what was going on, many where whispering trying to piece together a story to find out what was happening in the centre of the crowd of darkly dressed people. The same questions could be heard echoing through the crowd, ‘who was it?’, ‘what was happening?’, and ‘why had the ambulance been called?’

With what seemed like hours later the crowd started to part slowly, emerging through the crowd was a surgical trolley with a body covered by a crystal white sheet, a deep red patch was seeping through it and slowly it became apparent to the crowd present what had happened that night. The whole crowd that had gathered, turned and watched in silence as the trolley passed through the crowd and entered the screaming ambulance. For several minutes after the ambulance had disappeared into the night the crowd remained silent, the shock had taken all of them, one of them had gone and would never come back, and this thought was being played over and over by everyone it could almost be read through their eyes fixed to the place where they were standing. Slowly people started to walk away from the scene in groups of two or three all still remaining silent trying to digest what they had just witnessed, trying to unwind that nights events.


The next morning as the sun was rising the new day hadn’t wiped the night’s events from the town; a glowing sun wasn’t able to erase the previous night’s events from the grieving community. Where the silent crowd had stood only a few hours ago: a solitary uniformed police officer stood guard of the scene; flowers now lined the road and the pavement blocking any way through; a few people all standing reading the messages people had written, tears running down the tracks on the cheeks of the strangers united in grieving for the loss of a member of their community.


Tell me what you think of this. Trying my hand at writing a book, this is what I’ve come up with so far, some editing needs to be done but tell me what you think so far.

-Esjae x

Poem: Already Broken Promise

I was supposed to be your girl
The one you grace with diamonds and pearls
I swore to never hurt you
But look at what you can do
Is this you at your best?
With each lie that comes I’m waiting for the rest
If this is what love is supposed to be
Then this isn’t what I want, not you and me
Lets go back to the days when we first met
The days I really want to forget
People say things they don’t mean
But I know what I’ve seen
We can make up after a fight
But not this time, we’re not going to be alright
Let’s be honest
Oh wait, let’s go back a minute you’ve already broken that promise
I’m fed up of trying to put my life back together
Especially when you said we’d last forever


Tell me what you think


Poem: All You’re Worth

I’ll give you all you’re worth
From the moon and the stars right down to the earth
Let’s stay together for the rest of time
Just promise that you’ll be mine
And that you’ll never let me go
Say that our love will grow, is that even possible
This love is already magical
Never thought I would have something so special
Never thought that one person could take over my mind
I think that this could be a sign
That you are meant to be mine
And that we’re meant to be together
For now and forever
Together we can take on the world
I want to be your only girl
The one to know your deepest secrets
And to never become one of your greatest regrets


Thanks for reading, let me know what you think of it in the comments.

– Esjae

Poem: All The Good Things…

Good things start small
Good people walk tall
Good things come to those who wait
Good people don’t take the bait

What goes around comes around
Don’t let it knock you to the ground
Words sting
Just remember your dreaming
Got your future planned
Not making decisions off hand

Start small
Walk tall
Sit tight and wait
And good things will come to you


This is a really old one, but I still look back on it because of the message in it. What do you think?

– Esjae x

Poem: All I Want

All I want to do is see you smile
For you to see that I’m different
Not one of the crowd
All I want you to do is for you to let me be
The person I know I am
Not who you think I should be

All I want you to do
Say that you understand
Because you’ll always be proud
Of who ever I am
Of whatever I want to be
I need to know that you’ll always love me


What do you think of this one? Do you like the message?

-Esjae x

Poem: Ain’t No Other Way

Let’s sit down
Talk it out
Work it out
There’s a future in me and you
Can you see it too?
Ain’t no other way
Than to say I love you
They don’t understand what we go through
We got to have this heart to heart
So that we won’t part
We fight
We break up
But still it’s alright
We get back together
Maybe this time it will be forever

Like always guys, tell me what you think! I always love and appreciate your feedback!

– Esjae x

Poem – Ain’t Life a Bitch?

Friends come and go
Just like the waves of the sea
Creating a web of lies
Is that the way life is meant to be?
Your muffled cries
Ignored by those who are meant to care
Laying motionless in a ditch
And all they are able to say is,
Ain’t life a bitch?

What do you think to this one? Too short to be effective?

– Esjae

Poem – Addict

Scratching at your skin
As if trying to let it in
Mind buzzing
Unable to focus
Eyes darting
Living like a dog
And then it comes
Sharp and powerful
A jolt of life into your body
How long will it last
Your heroin fix

I remember writing this one, I wrote one more recently quite like this. Which one do you prefer?

– Esjae