Forever an Addict

You drive me mad with temptations
Sending my mind crazy with hallucinations
The driving force to my day to day existence
I try not to but every time I have to give into your persistence
I’m trying to forget about you, scratching at my skin
I don’t want to let you in
But your there, I’m yearning for your buzz
Once you’re in, you help me forget it all becomes a haze surrounded in a cloudy fuzz
I don’t want you but I need you
It’s like you’re inside my head, you’re reading my mind, you knew
I need to end this cycle, I need to get out of this rhythm
I don’t want you, I want my freedom
But I need you, where have you gone
It was only an hour ago, but it feels so long
I need you yet again
But you lost me my home evicted by the councilmen
I’m homeless, got nowhere to go
I only took you once, then… I just don’t know
I just needed you inside me
Like on my own I couldn’t be free
Look at my life now
You weren’t a bulldozer you were a plough
Turned my whole life upside down day by day
I was on the straight and narrow but you told me to stray
Now it’s time to get back
Even though you put everything I once had under attack
I’m going to build it all up, but you won’t knock it down again
Forever an addict, but I’ll fight it… amen

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Rest In Peace

Wouldn’t say that I’m religious
Couldn’t say that I’m superstitious
But I’m praying, begging, God please
Can’t  you see that I’m on my knees
Need a chance to be in your arms
Away from all and every harm
I say I’m fine but I’m not alright
Because you’re not here to hold me tight
You’re not here to dry my eyes anymore
My life can never be the same as it was before
If I had the choice to give it all up to have you back here,
To have you hold me near
Then that’s exactly what I’d do
I may sound selfish but I need you
If I can’t have you, then can I have my own wings
Just to see you for a day, you see these tears they sting
I’m useless on my own,
My life is meant to be with you, not alone
I just wish I could look up and see
You looking back at me
You’ve got your halo now
But forgetting you isn’t something my heart could allow
You were my world and you still are
The only difference is your not here,
But instead you’re lighting up the sky as my star

You’re forever in my memories, always in my heart
Never did I think that we would be apart
Thought it would be impossible for my love for you to increase
But please don’t worry about me just rest in peace.

How One Add One Makes Three

You were my lover, I was your lover
Wasn’t any other
It was just two, not three
Just us, you and me
Instead you said she was only a bit of fun
I’m all packed ready to run,
Don’t understand how one add one makes three
Thought two was how it was meant to be
I’m gone, not coming back
After all I’ve done for you, you put my heart under attack
I’m calling it a day
Don’t want to, can’t, stay
No way things will be how the used to be
You’ve changed, not me
You want her, so go
But I hope you understand, and know
There won’t be any coming back
Because I’ll find another who gives me what you lack

Time for Cease Fire

Raising the white flag, time for cease fire

Guaranteed, you’re a liar

Trying to love you

It’s the hardest thing for me to do

No trust

Too much lust

Moving on, the future is where I should be

Landing on my own, just me

Can’t look back, too many memories to see

You want another try

My heart agrees, my head replies – “What to lie”

Don’t know which it should be

Small steps into the future and we’ll see

Spoken Word Learnt My Lessons

 

Firstly, – Thank you for watching! If you enjoyed it please share it too! Also it would be great if you could tell me what you think of the poem by commenting with your thoughts. I would really appreciate it if you subscribed too or add me as a friend – also if you want other ways to contact me check out the links below.

This poem doesn’t really rhyme very much, but that was intentional I wanted this poem to be unconventional like the scenario in the poem. I got the idea for the poem from a lot of what is happening in the media at the moment.

Poem:

I may not be one hundred percent faithful
Definitely not any kind of angel
Living two lives
Not one, yes I’m two wives
Your ring is on my finger during the day
Replaced by his at night
No I’m not here to fight
Look just sit down and listen
When I’m with you there is something missing
Don’t talk, let me finish
The way he loves me is lavish
He treats me to nice things
So I gave these second blessings
I know it’s wrong
And I shouldn’t be dragging the two of you along

You can have the ring back
And I’ll pack my things in the sack
I know you see me as the devil
Even I didn’t think it was possible
To be in love with two people
But I did it
And now I’m quitting it
Because I don’t want to be playing around with your emotions
Now that I’ve learnt my lessons

LINKS:

Twitter: http://twitter.com/sj2093
Blog: http://esjaeofficial.blogspot.com/

Spoken word: I dream, I pray

This is my first spoken word poem uploaded to  my official youtube, please tell me what you think, by rating, commenting or subscribing!

Thank you for watching!

Poem:
Just last night I was laying awake thinking about the dream I should have been dreaming
The people I wish I could stop from screaming
So many lose their lives
Fighting to save you and I
What about their husbands and wives
what about the children with parents in the sky
They say it has to get worse before it gets better
Would you say that to a mother reading that unforgettable letter
The world is filled with so much pain
And  yet we still moan and complain
Our lives are so easy compared to so many others
Like those without sisters and  brothers, fathers and mothers
Would you want someone to forget to donate?
If you didn’t have any food on your plate?
If you were a soldier contemplating your fate?
The world is a horrible place sometimes
So many people fall on hard times
But all I can do I pray they find a miracle so that can survive
And live another day in their lives
You see they’re fighting for you and me
So that we can be whatever we want to be
They’re giving their lives
So spend a minute, think about those who didn’t survive
Cause they’re doing it for us
Not for some sort of a buzz
They are our pride
We shouldn’t have anything to hide
It’s time we gave a thought to all the families
And forgot about all of the controversies
Let’s support them in what they need to do
Remember it’s for me and you

LINKS:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/sj2093
Blog: http://esjaeofficial.blogspot.com/